Self-Protection?

I had bit of a shock tonight when Carolyn and I were discussing our persistent issues with Nat and Ben. Thus far I had not had much cause for needing to protect myself from anything - I am very open about my feelings and experiences - but I had not felt this kind of alarm in quite a long time, and certainly not since I have been here. I am constantly evaluating my friendship with Carolyn, as we are both Scorpios, and though we are frighteningly similar in many ways, we are also very different. I have been trying to make sure that I am completely honest with her, not only because I love our current situation with said sophomores, but because I know she will be able to sense any kind of deception on my end, no matter how small; even the small will make a Scorpio suspicious. The shock I had tonight, though, made me want to hide many things we have not yet discussed, and I am very uncomfortable with that. I have been able to, up to now, I suppose, forget who I was (or who I was labeled as) in high school and let my new friends in on the person I really feel I am. None of this is fabricated; I would not be able to live with myself if I lied about who I am. I must admit, though, that there are things I have left open to the interpretation of the encountered.

And so I am now surprised to find myself so quickly calculating a form of self-protection from Carolyn's judgement. I will not go into detail about our discussion, however I was unprepared for certain aspects of it. I do not feel judged by her; I answered her questions honestly and she took my answers honestly as well, but I nonetheless feel vulnerable to a degree I would never before have let myself reach. The Eagle is ever protecting itself from injury. I think she understands my situation, though, and I understand that I should feel no pressure. We are different people, no matter how people lump us together, and so I must keep reminding myself of this to stay true to who I am. I do not want to have any secrets from her, at least for now. Secrets are unnecessary.